


Doll Me Up In My Bad Luck

by kissedxbyxfire



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Biting, Bucky just wants Steve to smile, Dancing, Feels, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hand Jobs, James "Bucky" Barnes - Freeform, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers - Freeform, M/M, Masturbation, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Skinny Steve, Smut, Steve gets in a fight, Steve is a tease, pre-serum steve, ps Bucky is sickeningly in love with Steve, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:10:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissedxbyxfire/pseuds/kissedxbyxfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He really didn't want to do this. Just wanted a fun night out with Steve, make him laugh. He doesn't want to get thrown out for a fight.</p><p>Or</p><p>How a bar fight leads to sort of coming out, sort of fooling around, and sort of falling in love with your best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the song [Doll](http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EYBQZmyVKDM) by Foo Fighters
> 
> You know in all of the time that we've shared  
> I've never been so scared  
> Doll me up in my bad luck  
> I'll meet you there

Bucky walks into the apartment and sees Steve on the couch, he ruffles Steve's hair as he plops down next to him.

Steve shots him a glare, his hands in his hair to try and get it to lay flat again. 

"Got any plans tonight?" He leans back and turns his body towards Steve.

"Sure do." Steve holds up the book he had been reading.

"Oh, come on, Steve. You're gonna spend the night reading? You're not 90 just yet."

"Real good at makin jokes, Buck, you read almost as much as I do."

"Yeah, well, I also make a point to go out too. Come to the bar with me."

Steve brings the book up to hide his face and makes a sound of irritation. "I'm really not in the mood to sit around by myself while you and your date have fun dancing." 

"I got no dates set up, just you an' me, pal." 

There's a pause as Steve eyes him, but he finally agrees. 

Bucky grins, getting up from the couch and ruffling Steve's hair again as he walks by.

"Wear somethin' nice. And fix you're hair, ya animal." 

-

They get a table, luckily, the bar is pretty packed. Steve's almost finished his second drink, he's loosened up and laughing easily. Bucky's glad of it. Seeing Steve happy and relaxed makes it easier for Bucky to do the same. 

Bucky might be fidgeting a bit. He's watching people move around the dance floor, but he can go without tonight. Steve must notice.

"Just go have a dance, Buck." Steve says, pulling Bucky out of his thoughts. 

"What? No, I'm fine."

Steve sighs. "I know you want to. It's ok, I'll wait here."

He opens his mouth, but Steve has his 'no arguments' face on. "I don't got a partner." He says instead.

"What about her?" Steve lifts his chin, motioning to the other side of the bar. "Think she's been starin' at you since you walked in."

Bucky follows Steve's eyes and spots her. She is a pretty dame, light brown hair done up with pin curls, ruby lips that show a smirk when she notices Bucky looking her way. 

"Maybe just one song."

-

Her name is Katherine, but she tells him that he can call her Kat. He thinks she feels nice pressed up against him. Bucky won't tell her that, in that way, so he tells her she dances real nice.

"You're not so bad yourself. Took you long enough to come get me though."

"Aw, well, I promised my pal-"

"The little guy? Doesn't look like he'd mind, he seems like the waiting type."

What does that mean?

"But looks like she skipped out."

Wait. What? Bucky turns them so he can see the table they were at. Sure enough, Steve's not there. Bucky's fighting the battle between worry and annoyance bubbling up when he hears it, there's commotion going on at the back of the bar and it sounds like some chairs are being knocked over.

Found him.

Bucky politely excuses himself as he goes to make his way to the back of the bar. He hears someone say, 'I can do this all day.' Bucky groans, thinking to himself, 'if that's you Steve, I swear-'

It's Steve.

Bucky pushes passed a little crowd watching the apparent fist fight going on. Steve is working on pulling himself up, it looks to Bucky like he's been knocked down a few times already. Judging by his split lip but he's holding his stomach instead, and oh - there's a turned over bar stool near by.

Setting his jaw, Bucky moves between Steve and he guy throwing punches. "Alright, I think we're done for the night. Why don't you go cool down, yeah?"

The guy laughs. "Tell the little fairy he oughta keep his big mouth closed and mind his own next time."

Bucky snaps. "Hey! Don't even know what set him off but I'm sure you deserved whatever came out of his big mouth that got you worked up."

The guys barring his teeth. "Looks like we got another fairy." He spits at Bucky.

He really didn't want to do this. Just wanted a fun night out with Steve, make him laugh. He doesn't want to get thrown out for a fight, he likes this bar. But he can tell this guy won't quit. He looks over at Steve, he's been up off the ground watching, staring daggers at the guy. Bucky says his name to get his attention, and says, "Go." 

He meets Bucky's eyes, his own are defiant but he huffs as he turns to stalk away.

Bucky hears the guy laugh, and he curls his fists. "You got that one whi -" 

Bucky interrupts by slamming his fist into the guys jaw. Bucky's arm was up as he turned to face him so it was a smooth hard hit. Unfortunately, his hand also hurts like hell. He curses, shaking his hand out, and it's a good thing he was able to knock the guy to the floor because that gives him time to book it outta there.

He runs a few blocks, just to make sure, and stops to lean against a building to catch his breath. 

"Buck?" It's Steve. He knows it's Steve. But he really doesn't want to look at him this second, because -

"What the fuck, Steve?!"

"Wha - Buck, I was - I'm sorry, ok?" 

"One night. Why not go just one night without incident?!"

"You gotta be quiet, Bucky!" Steve shouts at him. He looks frustrated, he repeats himself in a whisper. 

Bucky rolls his eyes. "You better tell me I decked a guy for good reason."

Steve pulls on Bucky's sleeve to get him walking. "You hit him? Probably a good thing. He was a pig. I was only up to get a water from the bar when I notice him harassing a woman."

Bucky notices Steve's walking a bit wobbly and having a bit of trouble with his words. He wants to ask if Steve managed to get another drink other than water, but he's talking fast so he just holds on to Steve's elbow to make sure he doesn't fall over.

"- And she didn't want to go dance with him, she kept tellin' him. But he was pulling her arm, so I had to stop him, Buck. I told him that the lady said no and he needs to respect that, he didn't wanna hear -"

Bucky sighs. He can't really be mad at Steve. "Yeah, ok, you did good, punk. The guy deserved it." 

"How's your hand?"

Bucky holds his left hand out. "Pretty as ever."

Steve rolls his eyes. "The other one."

Bucky holds his right hand up. It's not too bad, there's swelling and it'll hurt to use his hand for awhile, but could be worse. Steve still grimaces. 

"You've seen worse. You've had worse."

"I hope the guy has a reminder not to harass anyone."

"Oh, he will. I got him right in the jaw, he might have a small break, least he'll have is bruising and maybe a missing tooth."

Steve presses his lips to a hard line. He doesn't like the idea of hurting people. But what the hell else was he supposed to do? He knows Steve won't argue against fighting when it's for a good reason though, so that's why he doesn't say anything about it.

They don't talk for awhile as they continue to the walk to their apartment, until Steve says, "He deserved it for the other thing he said too."

Bucky raises an eyebrow, so Steve continues, "When he said - you heard him - about me...and then about you..."

"The fairy thing?" Bucky asks.

"Don't say it, Buck! It's really a rude term."

"I'm not even - you've been called that a few times, and I always stand up for you. I know it's a disgusting thing."

He stops because Steve is glaring at him. He looks pissed. And then Steve starts in on him.

"I might - people can't help what they are, Buck! People like that guy are what's disgusting, you don't have to stand up for me then!"

He can't even follow what Steve is saying, not that it makes any sense. "What? I said it was disgusting! What the hell is the matter with you?"

Steve shoulders passed him and sulks the rest of the short walk to their apartment.

Bucky's stuck on the spot, trying to figure out what just happened. He doesn't think he said anything wrong, after a moments he goes to catch up with Steve.

-

He walks into the apartment as Steve slams a cabinet shut. "You wanna tell me what that was about?" He stands in the small kitchen watching Steve move around. 

Steve doesn't answer him, just goes about what he was doing and fills a glass with water.

"Drink up, hopefully that'll get the fog outta your head." 

"Oh, me? I'm just fine." Steve finally looks at Bucky, but doesn't meet his eyes.

"Right, well, I'll leave you alone to take care of yourself." He says even though he wants to hold a cloth to Steve's lip, he keeps opening the cut there because he won't shut his mouth.

"Buck, it's just - that guy said, and you agreed - I don't want you to be disgusted with me." He looks wounded.

"You're never drinking again. You got things all twisted, Steve. I'm not disgusted with you. How could you even think that?"

He asks a question but he doesn't really want to hear whatever Steve might have to say. He makes it clear the conversation is over by walking away, towards the bedroom, but as he get to the door

"Just so you know, he was right about me." 

Sort of, he thinks. He doesn't turn around. He doesn't want to see Steve's face. It's not something he wants to talk about right now, when he doesn't think about it much himself and Steve isn't in his right mind, but hopefully he understands. 

-

They don't talk about it, other than Steve apologizing for the night before. It's a blanket apology so Bucky isn't sure how much Steve remembers. 

He pushes down the creeping disappointment. He hadn't planned on letting - that - slip, but a part of him wanted Steve to give some sort of reaction. Nothing happened, he decided.


	2. You've Got The Most Unbelievebale Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After avoiding the subject, Steve and Bucky talk about their feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the song I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis  
> I love the cover by [Jukebox the Ghost](http://vimeo.com/13527917)
> 
> You've got the most Unbelievebale blue eyes I've ever seen  
> You've got me almost melting away  
> As we lay there under a blue sky with pure white stars  
> Exotic sweetness, a magical time  
> Say, say it again
> 
> I love you always forever  
> Near and fair, closer together  
> Everywhere I will be with you  
> Everything I will do for you

Other than Steve's comment of apology the day after, they don't talk about it. 

Everything is as normal for the most part. Steve still wakes Bucky up for work in the mornings. They still make food for each other. Listened to radio programs. Played cards. 

It's just that they aren't talking all that much. Bucky wants to explain. It's eating away at him. That night Steve had thought Bucky could somehow have been agreeing with the guy back at the bar, for some reason Steve thought Bucky would find him disgusting, and that's the worst part. He's feels sick about it. 

Steve had, in a way, confessed to liking men. At least that's what Bucky thinks happened. And, in a way, Bucky had confessed to the same thing. 

It was something he didn't let himself dwell on. It was supposed to be wrong, but it didn't exactly feel that way. He'd notice men the same way he noticed women, except when you notice a man that way it you could end up beaten in an alley or worse. He tried not to let it happen, if he did feel himself drawn to the way a mans lips moved he'd feel a panic boil in his gut and make a point not to look at them at all. 

But Steve. Bucky noticed everything about Steve, he couldn't help it, they've known each other most their lives and he's pretty sure they know close to everything about each other. Except that. Bucky tried hardest with Steve not to be that way, especially since Steve had a strong faith, he went to church every Sunday, and more importantly was the fact that Steve had been called at for being that way. It's not enough to be a fear, but it is. And it's all been assumed just by how Steve looks. Sure, Steve isn't seen out with dames as much, but what he gets called out for is how he's small, how he has feminine features, things that Steve can't even help about himself. Bucky has hidden behind his conventional masculine looks, his strong build, his reputation. 

His reputation being that he is seen more with women, he hasn't had many long term relationships but he's always a gentleman, sure he's been with a few but he can count them on one hand. He loves women. Loves their neatly done up curls, the pink or red pout to their lips, how they feel all soft and hot against him when they dance, how he knows other places feel even more excitingly soft and hot, knows how they taste. He loves a woman's laugh, the plain of exposed skin of their neck, how they look at him all sweet and innocent except when it's not, how their soft hands feel against his rough ones, how they gasp and make the prettiest sounds against his lips. 

He has all that and more. People have seen him out on dates, dames have felt him on their skin, he has experience and memories. What no one knows, what no one may suspect, is that he has such a burning want for those same experiences and memories with a man. 

And he doesn't let himself dwell. He doesn't, because on the odd time he does - if he's got a date pressed against a wall with her lips warm against his, if they've got their hands all over each other, if they're closer, if he's inside her and she's whimpering with how much she likes it, when they're tangled up in each other after, or even when he's alone - it's one person his mind goes to. 

He blocks it out until it's too much, til the ache is pushing to be touched, not until the need is so much that he feels like he's going to cry without it, and that's when he lets himself think of Steve. Think what it would be like to be crowded against him, to kiss and taste he skin at his neck, how he would taste other places, how would Steve sound once he was all tight and wrapped around him. Wonder if he would be loud and moan his name, would he be soft and breathy, or would he be so pulled under in the moment that he'd barely make a sound. More innocent things like; how would Steve feel tangled up with him when it wasn't just for warmth, how would it be out on a date, to hold Steve's hand across the table. 

He doesn't let himself think about it, until he does, until it's too much and he lets himself drown in it, let it wash over him until he feels sick with it, until he feels so sick with it that he pushes Steve away for a day or two, until he hates himself for even thinking about it, until he doesn't let himself. 

It's a stupid vicious cycle. He could never truly think Steve was that way, that Steve would want him that way. 

Steve likes women. Steve likes women. Steve likes women.

He doesn't like you. 

But then, Steve told him. And he told Steve. And he keeps thinking. 

Steve likes men. Steve likes women. Steve likes men. 

He doesn't like you. 

-

So then it all turns to shit about a week later, because why wouldn't it?

Bucky comes back to the apartment from work, from the market with a bag in his hand. Steve is at the kitchen table with a sketch in front of him and charcoal all over his hands. He doesn't look up when Bucky enters, lost in what he's drawing out. Bucky sets the bag down on the table, he's bouncing around and it seems like enough movement to get Steve to notice.

"What's got you all out of your skin?" Steve asks when he looks up from his sketch.

"I got a date, you remember Kat?"

"Can't say I do." 

"You know, the girl you pointed out, last week..." It feels odd to bring up, since they haven't mentioned anything about that night to each other. 

"Oh, right." 

"Well, I was at the market and ran into her. Ended up talking for a bit and here we are. Gonna take her dancing tomorrow night."

"That's great, Buck." Steve says to his sketch.

"Yeah, um, thanks. Hey, I, uh, got you somethin'." Bucky pulls the last item out of he bag and holds it in front of Steve's face. 

"Chocolate?"

"Yeah!" Bucky says, grinning. "I had a little extra and thought maybe I could pull a smile out of you."

"Bucky, you really shouldn't have done that. We, I, don't need this. The money would be better spent elsewhere."

Bucky's face falls. Steve looks down at the other items on the table. "You forgot milk."

Bucky curses to himself. "Right, ok, I can pick that up later. Just don't go tryin' to return that for the milk, I got it, ok?" 

"Sure, Buck."

-

Steve leaves in the evening, saying he's going to the park to sketch.

"Could you put on -"

"Yeah, a coat, Bucky. I got it." The door shuts before Bucky can say anything else. 

-

Steve must've been asleep when Bucky came home that night. He's on the couch, sitting up to rub his eyes and his sketch pad is on the floor. 

He didn't have any alcohol tonight but he's loud as he moves around. He looks up when he notices Steve and winces. He makes is way to the couch and pulls Steve's legs across his lap as he sits down. 

"Christ, Buck, you gotta keep it down." He says as he rubs a crick out of his neck. 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. But hey, you shouldn't be sleepin' out on the couch."

" 'm fine."

He's not in the mood to argue. He leans back against the couch and closes his eyes, he's not sure for how long but Steve saying his name makes him look up.

Steve is staring down, so Bucky follows his gaze...where his hand is running up and down Steve's thigh. He wasn't aware he was even moving but he stops. He goes to apologize but Steve tells him it's fine and keeps his hand there. It's quiet for a moment until Steve speaks. 

"Buck...about, you know," he clears his throat, "about the other night, I just wanted to say-"

"I told you it was alright, the guy deserved it."

"Yeah, ok."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, s'cold."

"Can you...do you want to..." Bucky puts his arm on the back of the couch, an invitation. 

Steve looks and then moves closer, his head on Bucky's shoulder and legs still across his lap. 

Steve turns his head up and Bucky moves to look at him. They're really close like this, Bucky can't remember when their faces have been this close. 

Steve's hand is on Bucky's chest and he looks like he wants to say something, but he closes his mouth in a hard line. 

"Steve?" Bucky asks, and he doesn't miss how Steve's eyes move to his lips. 

When Steve's eyes meet his again it's like he's silently pleading. Bucky licks his lips and Steve follows the movement. Bucky can feel himself slowly being drawn forwards but stops when he feels Steve slightly push his hand against his chest.

"Bucky...we can't, you can't do that. 'm sorry if your date didn't go well with Kat but...but I'm not gonna just be here to make up for it."

"What?"

"I just, ya know, you seemed like you were gonna..."

Bucky moves away from him. 

"Steve...my date was fine. She's a nice girl. And no, we didn't do anything...but that's not why-"

"Ok, so, you weren't gonna..."

Bucky sighs and runs a hand across his forehead. "I'm getting tired of this, Steve...Can you just look at me?" 

Steve meets his eyes, looking worried. 

"Listen...I said it too. That night after the bar. I can't believe you'd think I'd agree with a guy like that, but you had it all confused. I heard what you meant when you said...what you sort of said...and I said it later. Do you get that?" They keep dancing around it, saying it but not saying it, he's not even sure what he said made sense. 

Bucky can see Steve swallow, but he doesn't move to say anything.

Bucky nods, mostly to himself. "Look, I'm sorry. I guess I've been the one confused. I...I hope you don't think of me any different...I'm sorry, Steve."

He gets off the couch and walks to the bedroom. He can't be around Steve.

"I'm scared." 

Bucky stops, he can hear Steve's voice waiver. When he turns to face him he can see that Steve is scared. 

Steve is still on the couch but he's huddled up into himself, the way he's looking at Bucky is like he's been caught doing something wrong and waiting for the fall out. His jaw is clenched and brows furrowed. 

Bucky really doesn't want to see Steve look at him like that, it's twisting him up inside. He's walks back to stand in front of the couch, Steve is watching him with the same look and worrying his bottom lip. 

"Is it ok?" He gestures to the couch, Steve nods. 

He sits back down but to the opposite side of the couch. 

"Steve..."

"I'm scared." Steve's tells him again, the words catching in the throat, like he's stopping himself from falling apart. 

"It's ok. You don't have to be scared with me." He's trying to make his voice soft, even though he's worried about what this conversation is leading into.

"I do, Buck!" It's sort of a whispered shout and Steve screws up his face after he says it. "I do." He says again, quieter.

Bucky opens his mouth but Steve continues, "I heard you. You got it right, ok? About me...what I said. I'm sorry I lashed out, I was still worked up from the bar and you know 'm a lightweight - not that it's an excuse, 'm just sayin'...I'm sorry."

"It's ok - "

"You gotta let me finish, ok?" Bucky nods, keeps his mouth shut.

Steve takes a deep breath before he starts again. "I've known for awhile, about myself. And, listen, I like women. You know I've never been with someone but that attraction is still there...it's just also there for men." Steve winces like he's in a fight and anticipating a punch, but then he keeps going. 

"I don't know what it is. And sometimes I hate myself a lot for it. It's supposed to be wrong, it's a sin, Buck." He looks distraught and all Bucky want to do is hold him, but he can see that Steve needs to get this out and he's really not sure he should touch him, so he just listens.

"It doesn't feel wrong, to me, but I know what some people think about it. I've been cursed at for people assuming I'm like that when all they could possibly know about me is what they see as they pass by. It's that quick, Buck. Just because how I look, they get angry and feel it's a duty to let me know that it's - that I'm - something immoral. And how could their actions like that be ok? I don't think it is. I've known about myself for awhile, and I've had time to try and figure it out. I think God would be ok with how I am, with how people love each other. People can't help how they are, and it's not hurting anyone, love doesn't hurt anyone like that. So, I don't think it's evil. I'm ok with how I am. I'm still scared, just not for myself. I'm scared that someone could be cursed at, could be beaten, could be killed because of who they love. What I'm scared about, for myself, is that this could cause me to lose you in some way. If you didn't like how I was or if it was taken out on you...if people assumed about you because they saw you with me...and if something were to happen to you...I couldn't live with myself. I'm scared."

Steve looks like he's barely holding himself together. He just poured himself out, probably the only secret he had, and he looks drained. 

Bucky's stomach feels like it's rolling and clenching. He understands what Steve told him, everything. And he feels bad he was ever torn up about it. But he can make it better, he can try.

Bucky takes a deep breath, slowing letting it out. "I understand you're scared, I know, I'm scared too. I just have to get this out first, 'cause it's eating me up inside, and I need you to pay attention." Steve's biting his lip but nods.

"Don't you ever, ever, think there's something about you that I won't accept no matter what. I'm with you, 'til the end of the line. You hear me? I'll follow you to the end of the world. I'm not leaving you, ever." 

He means every word and hopes Steve believes him. 

On the other end of the couch, Steve has his jaw clenched and his eyes are glossy. He tries to say Bucky's name but it comes out broken. So Bucky asks, "Do you understand?" And Steve nods.

Bucky lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and feels the worry in his stomach ebb. Steve still feels too far away, but from his reaction earlier Bucky isn't sure what would be ok, so he stretches his arm and holds his hand out. It's up to Steve. 

Looking down at Bucky's hand, Steve decides against it, and moves closer so can sit leaning into Bucky's side instead. Bucky gives him a small smile and puts his arm around Steve's shoulder. 

He gives them a moment to breathe before he starts again.

"I have something else I need you to understand. You said a lot, and I appreciate that, you're brave for sayin' all that...and you put it better than I probably ever could." Steve looks up at him, eyebrow raised, so Bucky goes on to explain.

"I feel damn near the same." He nervously moves a hand through his hair and down to rest at the back of his neck. "I've known for a little while...that I look at some men same as I look at a beautiful woman." He winces a fraction, feeling awkward saying these things out loud. 

"I don't think it's evil or wrong. And I am scared, not for myself but for you. I guess that's how it's always gonna be with us, no matter what. The thing is, I don't seem to have put as much thought into the whole thing as you have." 

Steve's been listening intently, his face blank but his eyes focused on Bucky. He wants to tell Steve, get everything out, but he's nervous as hell. He gives himself a second to get it together before he backs out. Clearing is throat, he continues, "I don't let myself think about it much. What I'm scared about for myself, is that when there are those few times I let go...my mind always finds you..." 

Steve's eyes go wide as his eyebrows shoot up. Bucky feels like he's going to be sick. Before he can try and take it back, Steve opens his mouth.

"You think about...me?" Steve's blinking up at him, like he couldn't have possible heard him correctly. 

"I do, yeah."

It's quiet and Bucky wants to crawl inside himself. And then Steve asks, "Why?"

It's nothing close to what he had been expecting so without thinking he quickly blurts out, "What?"

"Why...do you think about me?" His eyes wide, searching.

Bucky groans and runs a hand over his face. "Come on, you tryin' to embarrass me?" 

"Well, you are turnin' a little red." Steve smirks at him. "Just...tell me something, Bucky."

"What? You want to be sweet talked like a dame?" Steve elbows him. "Fine, ok, I'll tell you one."

He bites his bottom lip, thinking over what he could tell Steve. What would be something nice to him to hear. What wouldn't be too hard for him to admit.

"First time I met you, I noticed your eyes were blue."

"Well no shit, Buck."

"You asked, Steve. I swear if you give me grief over this I'll never speak again. And I wasn't done, punk."

Steve laughs and tells him, "Ok, I'll be quiet," then smiles as Bucky starts up again.

"Ok, so, your eyes are blue. I was just a kid and I thought it was a good color on you. Then later, years later, I noticed they get all bright and intense...like when you're real focused on a sketch or when a dame catches your attention." He takes a breath, preparing himself. "They change a little, always blue but...different shades and intensities. So, when they get bright, when you're lookin at somethin' you like, you get this spark. I don't know what it means, but I can see it. It's right there. You're always on fire...and sometimes I feel like you're burning for me." 

He looks down when he's finished, picking at lint on his pant leg. He's trying not to worry if it was too much, to just let it be, but he needs Steve to say something.

"You think that about me?" Steve finally responds.

"Steve, I swear, you gotta say more than that. Christ, I feel like a dame. You don't say anything else, I'll take it all back."

"Don't!" Steve all but shouts at him. He lowers his voice, "No, Buck, I'm sorry. It's just...I never thought anyone could feel that about me. It's...nice." Bucky can't be torn up about it when Steve sounds like that, when he's got a blush he's trying to hide. 

"Ok, I won't take it back, you can keep it." He smirks.

Steve laughs. "You want me to tell you somethin'?"

"Nah, you don't have to."

"No, come on, I'll think of a good one."

"You gotta think about it? Oh, great. I see how it is." He pouts, but there's a playfulness to his voice.

"Well, there's lots of there people out there, Buck. You ain't the only one with good looks." 

"Ouch! You shootin' to kill?" 

Now Steve is really laughing. "Aw, Buck, come on. I mean, you got the hair and the face. You're aces." 

Bucky puts on a show about it, groaning and acting wounded as he get up to walk to the bathroom. 

It feels good to joke with Steve again. It feels like a weights been lifted, but there's also a shift he's not so sure of. He told Steve something like he's never told anyone, about how he feels about him, and he didn't get much of a reaction. He tries not to give it too much thought.

He walks in to the bedroom and sees Steve has moved from the couch. He looks up at Bucky and smiles. "Hey, you can sleep with me tonight, if it'll make you feel better."

"Well, seein' how you're already in my bed..." He removes his clothing, leaving on his boxers and undershirt, while Steve moves to make room. He moves behind Steve who starts talking as he gets comfortable. 

"I hope you ain't too sore. I mean it, Buck, you're a real looker." 

Bucky groans and moves to turn away, but Steve catches his wrist.

"No, please, stay." 

He rolls his eyes but moves back. He puts his arm across Steve's waist and curls himself around him. He thinks he can see Steve smile.

"Just one more thing. It's serious and honest, so don't take it like it ain't...I really like your eyes too, Bucky."

He's pretty sure Steve can feel him smile against him.


	3. Out Of A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up slowly. Scrunching his face up as he stretches his legs out, the pull of his muscles making him drift back towards sleep. He shakes his head, though barely moving, to get himself towards waking up. He shifts and now registers that there's an arm around his waist pulling him closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's POV
> 
> title from [You Stepped Out of a Deam](http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xs6eRpvsgwU) \- Tony Martin
> 
> You  
> Stepped out of a dream  
> You are too wonderful  
> To be what you seem
> 
> Could there be eyes like yours?  
> Could there be lips like yours?  
> Could there be smiles like yours  
> Honest and truly?
> 
> You  
> Stepped out of a cloud  
> I want to take you away  
> Away from the crowd  
> And have you all to myself  
> Alone and apart  
> Out of a dream  
> Safe into my heart

Steve wakes up slowly. Scrunching his face up as he stretches his legs out, the pull of his muscles making him drift back towards sleep. He shakes his head, though barely moving, to get himself towards waking up. He shifts and now registers that there's an arm around his waist pulling him closer, something he's used to, but once he's settled he feels something else that causes his eyes to fly open. 

He can feel Bucky hard against him. That's not entirely something new, but the events of the previous night somehow make it unfamiliar. He and Bucky admitted, more clearly, their feelings about having an attraction to both men and women. Bucky had gone further to admit that he had thought of Steve that way. The thought makes him smile. He turns slightly to look over his shoulder, Bucky seems to be fully asleep still. He takes a moment to look at him. He knows Bucky is good looking, anyone can see that, but he's never really taken the time to appreciate him.

It's hard to look at much, with the way he has to turn his head he can only see half of Bucky's face but it's still a nice sight to wake up to. Bucky's face is relaxed, his hair fluffed up to on side. Steve knows what Bucky's hair feels like but only in a way that's unassuming, feeling his forehead for a fever or fixing a fallen strand before a date. He's always wanted to run his hands through Bucky's hair, he wonders if Bucky likes when dames grab -

Steve startles as Bucky sighs. His eyes move to Bucky's mouth, his lips are slightly parted and a little chapped but he has a pout that makes Steve think his lips would be plush and soft. Of course, he's wanted to kiss Bucky for a long time, the thought alone makes his stomach tighten. If he thinks about it, which he's tried not to, he thinks about how Bucky's lips would be soft if they were kissing slow. He thinks they'd feel hard against his lips if the kiss were to turn passionate, not unsettling but the sort of feeling you get when you rub at a knot in your back, forceful but feels good enough that you might gasp into it. As he turns his thoughts to wonder if Bucky likes to have his lip bitten, Steve runs his tongue along his own bottom lip before lightly biting down. He can feel heat start to coil low in his stomach. 

Before he can think about what he's doing he arches his back and his ass rubs against Bucky, whose breath hitches before moaning into Steve's neck and holds him close. Steve can feel his face getting warm and his body start to react. He grinds down against Bucky, movements lighter since Bucky's sure to be more awake now, and tries to disguise his movements as him simply stretching out. This time Bucky makes a quiet growling noise in his throat and his arm sluggishly moves out as if to reach for something. Steve takes a chance and rolls out of the bed before Bucky can curl his arm back around him, the loss apparently enough to wake him up. He rolls onto his stomach and slightly curls in on himself before stretching out. "Steeeve." Bucky whines into the pillow. 

Steve can't help the smile that he tries to hide before it turns into him nervously laughing. He's well aware of what he did, blush to prove it, but he's a little embarrassed. "Gonna make some breakfast. Want some toast, Buck?" He calls out as he walks from the bedroom to the kitchen. All he gets in response is a groan. 

Minutes later, Bucky walks out of the bedroom with mussed hair and his neck is flushed. He also glares at Steve, which makes him smirk but ducks his head to hide it. 

He's not sure where they stand with each other after the conversation last night, but something prickles inside him knowing that Bucky was turned on enough that he had to 'take care of it' before leaving the bed. He can't be sure that he's the one Bucky was thinking about, but he can dream.

Steve is in the kitchen slicing a piece of bread when he feels Bucky crowd him against the counter. 

“Think you can be a tease now?” Bucky's breath on Steve's neck makes him shiver.

“Wh-what?” Steve somehow manages to get out.

“Mhmm.” Bucky's only response as he leans against Steve to stretch and grab a glass out of the cabinet. 

He looks down at the lone bread slice on the counter. “This for me?” 

Steve nods, not trusting his voice at the moment.

Bucky picks up the bread. Steve is aware of Bucky moving around him, probably putting something on his toast and getting something to drink, but he can't seem to move just yet. He's barely even looked at Bucky today and doesn't want to give in and let him see how much he's blushing. He quietly curses how his body reacts without permission. 

Bucky walks out of the kitchen and calls out. “Thanks, doll.”

That snaps Steve out of his thoughts. He groans and says Bucky's name in irritation. 

Bucky is sitting at the table so Steve makes a home on the couch and picks up his sketch pad, glaring over at Bucky who just smirks back at him. 

Steve rolls his eye. “I ain't some dame.” 

Bucky stares at him, chewing his food slowly, then answers. “I'm well aware of that, Stevie.”

He closes his eyes and sets his jaw, taking a deep breath before putting his pencil to paper, willing himself to not blush again. If he does, Bucky doesn’t say anything, but Steve's also making a point not to look at him. 

“You planning on sketching all day?” Bucky asks, still sitting at the table.

“I might.” Steve replies, not looking up.

It's quiet for a moment before Bucky gets up, the chair sliding across the floor as he moves. He goes to the kitchen and then back to the bedroom before coming to stand near Steve.

“You planning on hogging the couch all day too?”

“Why? You wanna cuddle?” Steve teases, his head down but moves his eyes to look up. Bucky has a book in his hand and a smirk on his face. 

Steve moves his legs to make room for Bucky before he can make some smart remark. 

Bucky sits down, moving around to get comfortable. He puts his foot up to rest on the opposite knee, opening the book and setting it on his thigh. 

It's quiet but comfortable. The only sounds are the ruffle of paper as Bucky turns a page, the soft scrape of pencil as Steve sketches, and the noise of traffic outside. Steve is glad there's no uneasiness between them, it feels like just another day but somehow better. He always feels relaxed around Bucky, he can be himself, but now that they have both confided in each other it feels easier to breathe. And while he's glad there doesn't seem to be anything weird between them, he keeps thinking about what Bucky had told him the night before. 

Bucky had told him that he thinks of Steve. He hadn't really given an explanation but Steve thinks he has a good guess. It had made his brain short circuit and he had asked Bucky why he thought about him. He feels stupid for it now, but it was the first thing that came out after his brain began to function properly. He wasn't used to anyone having feelings about him, and he couldn't really understand. Bucky had told him though. He told Steve how he likes his eyes, how he seems to have a fire in them, how he sometimes feels as if Steve is burning for him. It made his heart race and his chest warm. Bucky had opened up and was talking to him like a dame he'd been going steady with. Except it didn't make Steve feel like a dame, or more like how people describe a woman's reaction to words like that, he felt powerful. To have someone's attention like that, knowing that someone looked at something small and saw more…he's never been full of himself, but he had felt sort of proud. Maybe that's what it was? It's hard to wrap is head around.

He's never had the opportunity to talk to someone like that, or even to feel like that about someone really, and he didn't know what to say in response. He wishes he could've said something to make Bucky feel as good as he felt, but what came out was to tease Bucky instead. It was dumb, but it seemed to elevate the pressure of the moment and Bucky didn't seem sore about it. He thinks that may also have been the moment where things moved into more familiar territory, which he's glad of after about a week of being out of sorts around each other. He still tried to make to tell Bucky he liked his eyes too, he thinks Bucky had smiled at that. 

He pulled himself out of his thoughts to focus back on his sketch. He was just drawing the view outside the widow, something he's drawn countless times before, but he had to squint to see things like what was hanging out on a clothes line. He works on his sketching while worrying at the corner of his bottom lip with his teeth. Leaning back slightly he looks over the sketch in his lap while stretching his legs out, a bit cramped from sitting in the same position for too long. A surprised shout from Bucky makes him jerk his head up.

“Wha – Steve!”

Bucky is looking down, Steve follows his gaze to where he's tucked his feet under Bucky's thigh.

Steve chuckles. “What, Buck?” Trying, and possibly failing, at looking innocent.

“Your feet are freezing, that's what!”

“Well, I got you to keep me warm, don't I?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Coulda asked first, punk.”

“Jerk. Don't be so dramatic.” Steve hadn't actually realized he put his feet under Bucky, it's been an automatic thing for him to go to Bucky for warmth, his body seeking him out before his brain registers the cold. Bucky's reaction is understandable though, he is still just in an undershirt and boxers after all, Steve's cold feet under warm skin instead of fabric.

“Right, coming from you?” Bucky quirks his brows.

Steve glares at him, eyes brightening as he begins to smile.

“C’mon, get ‘em out!” 

Steve laughs as he slides his feet out from under Bucky's thigh. He's not as cold now, but Bucky still grabs his foot and wraps his hand around his toes. Steve smiles at Bucky, who is back to reading his book. Steve goes back to working on his sketch while Bucky runs his palm along the top of his foot, stopping every so often to give him a squeeze before resuming, pulling the chill from his body. It's odd how something so small, seemingly ordinary, causes a warmth to spread in his chest but he certainly won't complain. 

After a few minutes Bucky looks over and asks. “Better?”

Steve keeps his head tipped down but meets Bucky's eyes. “Better.” Averting his eyes as he feels his cheeks prickle and become flushed.

Bucky doesn't say anything, just smiles before he starts to warm up Steve's other foot. He's not even cold anymore, the chill had faded quickly as his body turned hot all over under Bucky's attention. There's no way Steve would complain about this either. 

The rest of the day is spent quietly, they barely move, and it's one of the better days Steve thinks he's had in awhile…until Bucky tries to get him to dance.

Steve is glaring at Bucky. “Why is this necessary?”

“Necessary? We've been on our asses all day, you gotta move, Steve!” 

“Couldn't let me have a nice relaxing day? You just like getting me worked up. You like seeing me embarrassed too?”

“Oh, c’mon, you know it's not like that. I keep tellin’ you, you gotta practice to get any better. Or is it about not wanting me? I see.”

Steve rolls his eyes but moves his sketch pad and gets off the couch. “Such a baby.”

Bucky grins at him. “You can call me baby, don't think anyone's used that on me before.” 

He's nervous just standing there, Bucky staring at him. They've been flirtatious with each other today, just little things, but Bucky's turning it up now and Steve is fighting a blush. 

“Bucky, shut it. You're the one buggin’ me so are you gonna do somethin’? I can do back to my sketch.”

“Such a hot head, Stevie.” Bucky smirks. “C’mon, don't be sore with me, I'm only teasing. I'll be a gentleman, we can even stick to somethin’ slow.” 

Bucky moves to Steve. “All you gotta do is follow me, ok?” 

Steve sighs and nods.

Bucky starts to show him how to stand. He moves Steve's left hand to rest on his shoulder, Bucky's right hand at the small of his back, cups Steve's right hand with his left and holds their hands close to their bodies at shoulder level. 

Steve had been watching what Bucky was doing, but now they are simply standing in the living room holding onto each other. The realization of how close they are is making him nervous. Bucky must notice because he gives his hand a squeeze and says. “It's ok, we'll go slow.”

He looks up, Bucky is smiling, his legs feel weak. 

“Just watch my feet to get comfortable and see what I'm doing.”

Steve looks down at their feet and Bucky starts moving.

“First thing, real easy, step out to the side. Move your right foot. That's it. Then follow with your left foot. You got it. Now, go back.”

Steve is trying not to be embarrassed, Bucky talking him through it making him more comfortable than other times he's tried his luck while they were out on a double-date. 

“You got the steps right, that's good, but try…um…lighter? Instead of stepping together see how it feels when you glide together. That make any sense?” Bucky laughs to himself, Steve's glad he's not the only one who's nervous.

Steve smiles down at the floor. “I'll try.” 

He follows, mirroring Bucky, as he steps out again with his right foot and tries gliding together his right foot.

“You got it, Steve. Does it feel ok?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good, we'll do that a bit. Let you get used to it.”

They move side to side. Right foot following left foot, left foot following right food. Steve hits his foot against Bucky's a few times, cursing and apologizing, but Bucky just says it's alright. Steve thinks he's got the hang of it and let's Bucky know.

“You wanna try moving around a little more?”

“Sure but, um, wouldn't it be better with music?”

Bucky shrugs. “Just learning the basics, don't want you distracted.”

Steve hums. “Ok.”

“Right, so, if you wanna move a dame around you pay attention to how my arms and hands move against you. If I'm gonna turn, I'm gonna sorta push against your right hand and pull you toward me with my right hand that's on your waist.”

Bucky manages to turn them a few times but stops.

Steve looks up, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“You gotta…I know you probably wanna just be doin’ this with a girl but I can't show you how to lead if you don't follow…”

“I – I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not thinkin’ about being with someone else, Buck. What am I doing?”

He thinks he can see Bucky's neck start to get flushed but he clears his throat and Steve looks up at his eyes. “You're kinda fighting me. I'm tryin’ to lead you and it feels like you're pushing back.”

Steve looks down, embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn't realize.”

“It's ok. I mean, is it ok? Do you wanna stop?”

“No.” His response is so fast it seems to startle Bucky. Steve stumbles on his words. “I mean, it's ok and no, I don't wanna stop.”

Bucky smiles, biting his lip to stop it from getting wider. “Alright. So, uh, just…you gotta relax. You're doing great, I swear, don't think about it too much.”

Steve takes a breath and nods.

Bucky continues to move them around. Steve keeps his eyes down most of the time, partly to pay attention to the moves but to also make sure he doesn't step on Bucky's feet. They manage to make a full circle around the couch, Steve laughs once they get to the spot they started from. 

“What? You did it! You didn't stumble once. What's so funny?”

“I don't know.” He laughs. “Surprised myself, I guess.” 

Bucky lightly jostles him around by the shoulders. “I told you you could do it! Just had to stop being so stubborn.” He teases, grinning.

“Yeah, yeah, you told me. Don't rub it in. Can we…if you want to, can we go for a bit longer?”

Steve ducks his head down, chewing the inside of his cheek, when he looks up Bucky is smiling at him.

“Whatever you want, doll.” 

“Would you shut it?” Steve hits Bucky's arm. “I'm not your girl.”

“Never said you were.” Bucky says, rubbing his arm. “Anyone ever tell you not to go around hitting people?” 

“Yeah, you.” Steve laughs.

“You're a punk. Gonna do this or not?”

Steve straightens and takes hold of Bucky's hand. He stares at a spot on Bucky's shoulder, which seems to help him not overthink. After a few moments Bucky's voice startles him. 

“Stepped out of a dream.” Bucky is singing soft and low. Steve wonders when they got so close, but doesn't particularly care, Bucky’s cheek brushes against his hair. “You're too wonderful to be what you seem.”

“Buck…” He hates that he sounds small, but when Bucky leans back and smiles at him he forgets about everything else.

“No good?” He chuckles and tips his head down, away from him.

“No!” Steve curses himself. “It was good! You have a great voice, Buck.” 

Bucky looks at him. “Thanks, doll.”

And before Steve can roll his eyes or scoff at him, Bucky pulls him in close and begins to move them around the room a bit faster than they were previously. Steve stumbles on the first step but is able to keep up, only to get flustered when Bucky starts singing again. 

“Could there be eyes like yours? Could there be lips like yours?” He can feel Bucky's breath on his ear, making him shiver. “Could there be smiles like yours, honest and truly?” 

He feels ridiculous smiling as Bucky says it, but he doesn't try to hide. Bucky is so close. He can't remember feeling this excited and nervous all at once. 

“Stepped out of a cloud, I want to take you away, away from the crowd.” He's holding onto Bucky like he might disappear if he lets go. “And have you all to myself.”

They slow to a point where they're just shifting side to side. He wonders if Bucky can hear his heart beat. This is overwhelming. He wants to think that this is more than an impromptu dance lesson or something to do to stretch their legs. He's not really sure what to do with himself. 

“Alone and apart. Out of a dream.” Bucky's grips his hand, the one now between them, resting against his chest. “Safe into my heart.”

He feels like he's going to fall apart. What is happening? He wants to say something but doesn't know what and scared to open his mouth, who knows what would come flying out. They're standing in the middle of their small apartment, which feels impossibly big around them as they are so close to each other. Bucky rests his cheek against his hair, when he exhales Steve can feel a blush heat up his face. 

Bucky leans back to look at him. He looks slightly worried but his eyes are so bright, Steve can't help the smile pulling at the corner of his lips. Bucky shakes his head and laughs before smiling back. 

“You're a real good teacher, Buck.”

“Think so?”

He watches as Bucky lick his lips. He should probably say something else, but his brain chooses now to take a break. He's just staring at Bucky, who's grinning. He feels Bucky grip his waist, the next thing he feels is Bucky's lips against his. 

He's so happy his brain sparks back to life. Bucky's lips are soft and warm. Finally getting to experience this is making his head spin. Bucky breathes in through is nose and briefly pulls him closer before parting. 

He might fall if it weren't for Bucky holding him up. It probably was a few seconds but he wants it back.

“I – wha - why'd you stop?” 

“Don’t worry, doll. I can do this all day.” 

Bucky smirks at him before turning to walk to the bedroom, pulling Steve along with him. Steve feels like he can barely function so he's glad Bucky seems to have an idea. Once in the bedroom, Bucky sits on the edge of his bed and moves Steve on top of him. They look at each other for a moment. 

“This ok? We don't have to do anything. I just…I need to know you're ok, either way.”

“I'm great.”

Bucky laughs. “I know you are.” Bucky's looking at him so adoringly, it makes him feel exposed but he also feels unusually calm under so much attention. “Stevie, you got no idea how long I've wanted you.”

“I think I might.”

He leans down and presses their lips together. It's a bit rough, not having much experience, but Bucky smiles against him. He can feel Bucky's hands move to either side of his face, cupping his jaw to lead the kiss. He feels like he's not in his body but can still somehow feel everything. Bucky's tongue moves along his bottom lip and Steve softly gasps, apparently the intended reaction because Bucky slides into his mouth and drags their tongues together. He's sure he's going to pass out. He shudders and Bucky pulls away, a hand moving to the small of Steve's back. 

Bucky's eyes are searching Steve's face. His lips are red and wet, pupils wide, but he looks at him so adoring and Steve just want to melt into him. 

“You ok? Do you want to stop?” 

“No, never.” Steve shakes his head. How is that even an option now? After waiting so long he doesn't ever want to give this up. A thought flashes, what if Bucky is having second thoughts? He ducks his head, avoiding looking directly at Bucky. “Do you want to stop? I mean, I understand, it's –“

Bucky tucks a finger under Steve's chin and tilts his head up. He doesn't know how he could ever get used to the way Bucky is looking at him, how close he is, but he could certainly try…if Bucky wants him. 

“I finally got you, I'm not letting go. I don't want to stop.” He moves his thumb along Steve's bottom lip. “You just feel like you're buzzing all over.”

“Well, Buck, I guess you could say I'm burning for you.”

Bucky leans forward, his forehead against Steve's chest and groans. “Such a punk. I told you I'd take it all back.” 

Steve laughs. He's beginning to think Bucky is more of a sap that he's led on before. 

“Please, don't.” 

Bucky leans back to look at him, Steve trying his best pout and gets a smile out of Bucky. 

He knows how to be Bucky's best friend, he isn't sure what being more to someone means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you tell I don't know how to dance? I'm so sorry. I'd totally be Steve in that situation lol. 
> 
> Comments welcome and greatly appreciated <3
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://kissedxbyxfire.tumblr.com)


	4. Earth Angel (Will You Be Mine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve came apart so beautifully, and he's just as happy to put him back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from [Earth Angel](http://youtu.be/VJcGi4-n_Yw) \- The Penguins
> 
> Earth angel, earth angel  
> Will you be mine  
> My darling dear  
> Love you all the time  
> I'm just a fool  
> A fool in love with you
> 
> I fell for you and I knew  
> The vision of your love-loveliness  
> I hoped and prayed that someday  
> I'll be the vision of your happiness 
> 
>  
> 
> -
> 
>  
> 
> Continuation from the last chapter, moving to Bucky's pov....this is where is gets smutty...if you can't tell by now....from the songs I'm choosing and Bucky's characterization...he's gone with Steve...he's a big sap lol but this is more filth and fluff and I hope you like it...if you do please let me know....I'm begging you

They're kissing lazily, he knows Steve doesn't have much experience but it's not bad, getting better as they go. 

Steve is straddling his lap, his arms wrapped around Bucky's neck. It's surreal having him there, never thinking this would happen, it's exhilarating. He's letting Steve explore, learn what he likes. He seems to like when Bucky licks along his bottom lip and nip at it with his teeth before soothing back over the sting with his tongue. He really likes to sometimes have his thumb resting at the corner of Bucky's mouth, feeling as their tongues slip past their lips. It's surprising, he's never done that, and it makes it that much hotter for it to be with Steve, that Steve was the one to try it. Steve loves to have his tongue in Bucky's mouth, tasting each other.

Bucky grips Steve's hips with both hands, Steve gasps and Bucky pulls away thinking he hurt him. Steve looks at him, confused and sort of dazed, but seeming to realize what he's thinking. "I like it...don't stop." So he doesn't. 

His hands are back on Steve's hips as he pushes their mouths together. Steve seems to be getting lost. His mouth is hot and forceful, his arms wrap around Bucky's neck and his hands will slide his hair and gently pull. It seems like he's vibrating, he thinks Steve is trying to keep his body still. 

He grabs onto Steve, pushing him down so they're snug against each other and moves his hips in a circle, making Steve grind down on top of him. Steve's breath hitches and his back goes rigid. He pulls back and grins at the sight of Steve's eyes going dark. 

"That what you were after this mornin'?" He breathes against Steve's neck, who tilts his head back. Steve shivers as he licks a stripe along the exposed skin.

"Mhmm," Steve hums his delayed response. 

"Hmm s'ok, doll. You can move all you want." He softly kneads Steve's hips with his fingers as he speaks, punctuating by nipping at Steve's earlobe. 

Steve whines on top of him, something goes off in him like a switch. He's greedy for those sounds, wants to be the only one Steve keens for. 

He kisses along Steve's collarbone, hands in his hips encouraging him to keep moving, Steve grinds down against him. He continues to kiss Steve's neck and collarbone, stopping to nip at the skin and run his tongue over the sensitive marks. Steve is making the prettiest noises. He whines and gasps and moans, pulling at Bucky's hair and pushing into him when he really likes something. 

Bucky licks and sucks on Steve's pulse point, a gasp turning into a dragged out moan as Steve grips the front of Bucky's shirt. 

"Off, take this off," Steve urges him.

Steve is pulling at Bucky like he has no idea how a shirt works. Steve's eyes are so wide and dark, Bucky's thoughts are nothing but filth. He pulls back and strips off his shirt. Steve's hands are back on him within seconds, running down his chest to his stomach and back up again. 

Bucky tugs at the hem of Steve's shirt and asks, "This too?" Steve nods. 

Once his shirt is off Steve starts to shrink in on himself. Bucky takes his face in his hands, looking into his eyes, "Nothin' I haven't seen before...and everything I was to see for as long as you let me."

Steve bites his bottom lip and nods again.

Bucky closes the space between them, pressing Steve into his chest as their lips meet. He kisses Steve slow, patiently, like he's got all the time in the world. 

He feels Steve relax and then push back, he's smiling. 

Bucky smiles back, a hand at the side of Steve's neck, thumb smooths along his throat. Steve swallows, causing his thumb to press into his adams apple, at the same time he feels Steve's fingers dig into his chest. Their eyes flash with arousal and curiosity. Bucky slides his hand to the back of Steve's neck, gripping his hair and moving him forward so he can kiss and lightly suck at the underside is Steve's jaw. 

Steve is pawing at his chest, a fingernail catching his nipple making him groan. Steve takes the hint and rubs Bucky's nipple between his fingers, making him squirm then still as Steve begins to grind down again. He can feel Steve hard against him, groaning at the contact between their shorts. 

He trails his hands down Steve's back, squeezing his hips and pushing him down harder as them move against each other. Steve crashes their mouths together, immediately opening for Bucky. As their tongues slide together he moves a hand to the front of Steve's shorts, feeling along his hard length. Steve moans and Bucky swallows it down. 

Steve is writhing on top of him, hips circling to rub himself against Bucky's hand, hands moving to grip Bucky's hair, and pressing their mouth together he's sure they're going to bruise. All he can do is hold on. 

Bucky pulls back, panting, needing air and he's sure Steve needs it more. He keeps a hand on Steve's hip, the other slowly stroking his cock, looking him over as he catches his breath. 

Steve's eyes are dark but glowing in the dim light. His pale skin is flushed from his cheeks to his chest, which is heaving as he breathes through his mouth. 

"Stevie, look at me." 

Steve's eyes move to find his, and he smirks. 

Yep, still with me, Bucky thinks. 

"Breath through your nose for me, ok?" 

Steve nods. 

"There ya go. That's good, angel." 

Steve sighs and closes his eyes, cock twitching in Bucky's hand, smiling as he opens his eyes. 

He can't help but smile back. "Tell me what you need, baby."

"This...just this, for now, is that ok?"

"Anything you want. Whatever you want is more than good enough for me." 

"Can I...touch you?" Steve asks, looking down.

"You do whatever you want to me, angel." 

Steve grins and licks his lips before leaning in and kissing Bucky's neck, fingernails scratching down his chest, skin stinging when palms move along the scratches as Steve bites down on at the base of his neck. 

He squeezes Steve's hip and rocks against him. "Fuck, Stevie," moaning out as Steve licks at the indents of teeth on his skin. He's been stroking Steve slowly through his shorts but moves faster when he feels Steve's hands at his waistband, slipping his fingers passed the fabric. 

Steve pulls him out of his shorts, moving away from Bucky's neck to look down, groaning into his shoulder. Bucky smirks when his cock twitches just from Steve's eyes on him, loving how it gets Steve worked up enough to bite down on his peck and grind against his hand. 

"C'mon, gonna let me see you?" Stroking Steve firmly. "Damn, baby, I wanna see you, get my hands on you." 

Steve nods, sucking marks onto Bucky's chest. 

"Lean back for me." 

Sitting up, Steve looks into his eyes and Bucky keeps his gaze as he slips his hand into Steve's shorts. He looks down, groaning as Steve gasps when his thumb slicks over the precome at the slit of his cock head. 

"Stevie...baby, you look so good, all of you." 

He looks up and Steve is staring back at him, lips parted. He takes his hand away and Steve whines. Bucky smirks as he brings his hand up and sucks the come off his thumb, Steve growls, outright growls low in the back of his throat and it goes right to Bucky's dick. 

He grips the base of his cock and fists his other hand into Steve's hair to pull him closer, licking into his mouth. Steve's moans into him as he tastes himself on Bucky's tongue. 

It feels like they've been going for hours, touching, kissing, licking, sucking, and he feels close but doesn't want this to end. 

Steve shifts his hips and their cocks rub together, shuddering as he moves again. Bucky grips Steve's hips, thumbs rubbing the delicate skin and he guides him to move. They kiss heatedly, desperately moaning into each other, swallowing noises that would otherwise be too loud in the small apartment. 

Bucky slips a hand between them to stroke Steve, slicking the precome from the head of his cock and down to the base. Steve whines and nips at Bucky's bottom lip. He strokes Steve for a few moments before taking himself in his hand, stretching to hold them both. Steve starts to rock his hips, their dicks sliding against each other, and groans as he tips his head back. 

Everything feels sensitive and so, so good. Steve is moving on top of him, panting and so beautiful. He flexes his hand around them, lightly squeezing as Steve continues to rock his hips and rub their cocks together. The slight pressure seems to be something Steve likes because he starts to moan, but Bucky covers his mouth with his other hand. Steve snaps his head to look at Bucky, pupils blown with just a sliver of blue before rolling to the back of his head. He starts to stroke his hand along their lengths, thumb sliding over the head of Steve's cock before moving down to grip the base of them both together. 

Steve growls against Bucky's hand, still covering his mouth. He grins before leaning in to sink his teeth into Steve's shoulder. He bites hard enough to leave a mark, but not enough to break the skin, and Steve takes a deep breath through his nose then goes a bit lax as he slowly exhales. When he removes the hand at his mouth, Steve slumps forward and rests his head on Bucky's shoulder. 

Bucky continues to stoke them together slowly when he cards his other hand through Steve's hair. "You still with me, angel?"

Steve nods in response but Bucky is a little worried. Having Steve so close, like this, it's making his head swim, but he can't hurt Steve. He stills his hand, wanting to make sure Steve is ok, stopping all of this if necessary, but Steve grabs onto his arm.

"Don't stop...please." 

He relaxes a bit, feeling Steve's breath against his skin, and continues to move his hand along their lengths.

"Ok, I won't, just...can you look at me?" 

Sitting back slightly and tilting his head, Steve looks at him. He's gorgeous, Bucky thinks. Steve's blue irises sparkle around the pool of his huge pupils, hair sticking up in every direction, his cheeks are blushed pink, lips are shiny and swollen. There's no possible way for him to not love looking at Steve, and right now he's perfect, the way he's looking at Bucky right now making his heart ache. 

"You ok, baby? Can you tell me?"

Blinking a few times, Steve answers, "'m great." 

"You're perfect." Bucky smiles, Steve smiles back before ducking his head and leaning in to seal their lips together.

They kiss slow and deep a few moments before Steve starts to rock his hips. Bucky flexes his hand around them and begins to pick up his speed, stroking them together. 

He drags his thumb along the slit of his cock, humming against Steve's mouth, and circles around the head of Steve's cock. Steve gasps and starts babbling as Bucky moves his hand up and down, fast and firm, slick with their precome. 

"Buck - oh - mmmm, Bucky...please...please."

"I got you, baby." He kisses along Steve's collarbone, "Tell me what you need."

"I'm gonna - I need...more...Bucky, 'm so close." He closes his eyes, shallowly thrusting his hips. "Please - mmmm - Bucky, please."

He doesn't think he's ever heard Steve beg for anything in his life, and he's begging for Bucky to let him come. He feels lightheaded with the realization but snaps out of it, because Steve needs him. 

He looks Steve over and he can't help it, "You're so pretty, Stevie." He feels Steve's fingernails drag down his chest, cursing as he grips their bases before moving his hand desperately. "Fuck...gorgeous, angel."

Leaning in, closing the small space between them, Bucky licks up Steve's neck and sucks on his pulse point. Steve whimpers, Bucky thinks he hears something that might be his name. The pressure, want, and need coiling so tight. 

Steve starts to beg over and over, "Please - I need - close, 'm so close...Bucky, please." 

They are both right on the edge. Steve keeps begging him and he's trying, trying to get him there, his need just as bad but he's almost getting frustrated. He looks up and Steve is licking his lips and Bucky understands. He fists his free hand in Steve's hair, pulling him in, and kisses him hard and as desperate as he feels. Steve sinks into him, opening his mouth when Bucky licks and nips at his bottom lip. 

Their tongues slide together and Steve starts to shake, his jaw going slack and Bucky sits back. 

All he can think about is how perfect Steve looks. 

He lets go of himself to wrap his hand around Steve and tip him over the edge. Steve closes his eyes, and mouth, as he hums, so Bucky kisses him. He pulls back to nip at Steve's neck up to his ear, "Let go, Stevie," he whispers. "You're so good. Can you come for me, angel?" 

Steve whimpers and nods. Bucky moves back to his lips, kissing him as he rides out his orgasm. Steve slumps forward, resting his forehead against Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky groans a second later, surprised to feel Steve's hand wrap around him. It's a bit clumsy but it doesn't matter, Steve's come is on his belly and has a hand on his cock, he comes after just a few strokes with Steve's name on his lips.

They're both breathing heavily against each other and Steve has is face buried in Bucky's neck. 

Bucky puts his hands on Steve's shoulders and gently pushes him back until he's sitting up straight. His face is red and his chest is rising high, but his eyes are open and he's smiling. Bucky smiles as he moves his hands to cup either side of Steve's jaw, then leans in to kiss his cheek. 

When he pulls back Steve ducks his head and lets out a quiet laugh.

"Startin' to bruise my ego here, Steve," He chews at the inside of is cheek, watching him.

Steve snaps his head up. "No, fuck, 'm sorry...I guess I'm embarrassed, not about you, for myself. That was...great, amazing even." He tips his head down, looking at Bucky through his lashes.

And he's done for. He'd do anything, anything, for Steve...and that look...he's a sucker. 

"Now that's better," he teases. He runs a thumb along Steve's kiss swollen lip. "I can't put into words how perfect you are, baby." 

Steve groans Bucky's name, annoyed, lightly slapping his arm. 

"Hey, watch it! What? Can't call you sweet names without my hands on your prick?"

"Shut up," Steve says, glaring at him. 

"Alright, alright." He gently moves Steve off his lap and onto the bed, and walks out of the room.

"Wait! Buck!" Steve calls out behind him.

He walks back into the bedroom a few minutes later carrying a wet cloth. Steve is sitting up on the bed with his legs crossed and biting his bottom lip. "Don't worry, doll. Haven't I ever I told you I'd never leave you?"

Steve rolls his eyes but he's smiling after Bucky leans down to kiss his cheek.

He uses the wet cloth to clean them up then pulls Steve to lie down with him. He's on his back with Steve curled into his side, his fingers trailing along Bucky's chest. He cards a hand through Steve's hair. Steve's fingers brush a spot on his neck and he hisses.

Steve winces, looking at the bite he left on Bucky's neck. "I'm sorry, fuck...does it hurt? I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry, I'm not." He grins down at Steve. "Seems we both liked it." 

And even after everything, Steve still blushes. 

"What about you? Did I hurt you? How're you feelin?" 

"I'm not hurt...liked that you were a bit rough with me." He blushes deeper. 

So damn pretty, Bucky thinks to himself. 

"Had a feeling you'd like that, after all the fights you get into...still gotta make sure though." 

"Told you it was amazing, didn't I? I'm fine, Buck."

"Still gonna make sure."

He holds Steve close to his chest, kissing him slow and deep until he melts into him. 

Steve came apart so beautifully, and he's just as happy to put him back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's doesn't really know what's he's doing. Bucky sort of knows what's he's doing. I don't know what they are doing. 
> 
> If there's a tag you think I should've added, please let me know
> 
> Sooooo that's that...pretty please consider leaving a comment, I'll love you forever
> 
> Check out my [Tumblr](http://kissedxbyxfire.tumblr.com) for more Stucky plus a ton of Seb and Chris


	5. Cosmic Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's got Steve and the sky all to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Cosmic Love](http://youtu.be/2EIeUlvHAiM) \- Florence & The Machine
> 
> The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out  
> You left me in the dark  
> No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight  
> In the shadow of your heart

There's a blackout, he's sure he's never seen the city this dark, it's eery but he's also pulsing with excitement. 

"Look at the stars, Buck!" Steve beams at him. 

I'm lookin' at my favorite one, he thinks to himself, grinning back at Steve. 

They are out on the fire escape, listening to the neighbors chatter on about what's going on, looking down the streets to see how far the black out reached. 

"I got an idea." Bucky suddenly turns and smiles at Steve.

It takes a little convincing to get Steve there, but damn is it ever worth it.

They slowly climb up the fire escape, making sure they don't slip and fall but also to make sure Steve doesn't get winded. Steve climbs up first, setting the pace, and after awhile they make it to the roof of their building. 

No one is up there with them, no one is ever up here, he's not even sure this is 'allowed'...probably not. Most everyone is out on the street gossiping and complaining about all the lights being out, or doing so in their homes. He's got Steve and the sky all to himself. 

He takes Steve's wrist in his hand, pulling him down to sit. Their shoulders and thighs touch. It's not a new thing for them so sit close together but always innocent before (for the most part) and it's innocent now, except it's better. They can lean into each other now, don't have to pull away after a few seconds, he can let himself be warmed by it because he knows Steve wants it. It feels so good to be close to Steve, to not worry, but it can only be like that in the comfort of their small apartment. If they are out they can't stand too close or let their touches linger, have to act like they're only best pals. But tonight? 

Steve is leaning back, hands supporting him, looking up at the stars. He turns to Bucky and smiles at him, he looks so happy, "This is amazing."

"Sure is."

It's dark, sure that's obvious, though it's not pitch black because the moon is out just a sliver. He can make out Steve's body and features with him being so close, but he wouldn't need any sort of light to know what he looks like right now. He's beautiful. 

There's no one around. It's just the two of them. He has the urge to pull Steve close, and he can, so he does. 

He wraps an arm around Steve's shoulders, when he pulls him in Steve makes a little 'hmpf' sound as he settles into Bucky's side. 

"Hey," Steve says softly, and Bucky definitely wouldn't need any light to know Steve is smiling.

He puts a hand on Steve's cheek, turning his face so he's looking up at Bucky, breath hitching when Bucky's thumb trails along his lips. 

"Hey, baby," a whisper before leaning in to kiss Steve.

He catches Steve's bottom lip between his, kissing him slow and unhurried while pulling him in so their chests touch.

Feeling Steve breathe against him isn't so much a turn on for him but it makes it easy to gauge how Steve is doing without having to ask. Their chests push against each other and he can feel Steve's pulse where his hand rests at the side of Steve's neck. It's not a turn off either.

He licks and nips at Steve's bottom lip, earning sharp little inhales and pretty sighs. Steve's opens his mouth a bit in invitation, and Bucky takes it. He slips his tongue passed Steve's lips, tilting their heads to get a better angle so he can push in further and slide their tongues together. He holds Steve lightly, a hand at his waist and at his neck. When he catches the tip of Steve's tongue and lightly sucks Steve's tightens his grip on Bucky's hair and moans into him. He shivers at Steve's reaction and squeezes his waist. 

Kissing Steve outside, under the night sky, just might be the greatest thing he's ever done. He'd tell anyone that very fact, if it didn't have unpleasant consequences. He'll keep this moment to himself, the moon and stars won't spoil their secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so short. I have a longer chapter in the works but I needed to get this out first. I hope you still like it <3
> 
> I have a thing for space/stars/the sun and moon and applying romantics to them. And I've sort of made that part of Bucky's thinking. I figure he took dates to a science fair so he probably loves sci-fi/fantasy/space.
> 
> Also I have no idea how blackouts worked back then or whatever? Lol so I hope you just rolled with it like they did. 
> 
> Comments always welcome and greatly appreciated <3
> 
> For lots of Stucky feels and more, follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedxbyxfire.tumblr.com)


	6. It Was Always You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It Was Always You - Maroon 5
> 
> Hazel eyes,  
> I was so color blind   
> We were just wasting time  
> For my whole life   
> We never crossed the line   
> Only friends in my mind   
> But now I realize,  
> It was always you

The night of the black out Steve and Bucky run into Paul, a fellow mechanic. They went out on the street to mingle with their neighbors, see if anyone knew what caused the power to quit, no one seems to know for sure but there's a few rumors spreading. 

They don't get much into the discussions because Paul spots Bucky and ropes them into a one-sided conversation about a girl he's seeing, or trying to. He tells Bucky he's been talking to a waitress at the diner a few blocks over, how he worked up the nerve to ask her out on a date but he's gotta bring a friend for her cousin.

"And who would be better than you?" Paul asks.

Bucky feels his stomach coil. Sure, dates are nice. Cleaning up for a change to go out for dinner, drinks, and dancing, Bucky loves all that. What he's working up a sweat about is he doesn't want all that with Paul's dates cousin. Meaning no offense in his own mind, she's probably real nice, but now he doesn't want any of that stuff if it's not with Steve, which is just complicated in and of itself, but he can't say that.

It's been a beat too long for him to have not responded but Steve answers for him, "You haven't told me you got anything planned for the weekend. You like dancing, Buck, why not help a pal and take a nice girl out?"

Steve is actually smiling, looking between him and Paul. 

"Yeah, sure," he clears his throat, "I'd be happy to help out."

Paul beams at him, "yeah? That's great! Won't be no chore either. Best looking gals in the city, Buck."

They make idle chit-chat for a few minutes, mostly Paul talking more about his interactions with the waitress, until Bucky excuses them by saying its late and he will catch up with Paul at the garage tomorrow.

Once they get back to their apartment, bumping around by the dim light of a candle borrowed from a neighbor, and Bucky is asking Steve what the hell that stunt was about.

"I didn't see you offering even a word, Buck. You just stood there. Plus, what if you said no? Aren't people gonna talk, ask questions if you suddenly aren't interested in going out?"

"I'm plenty interested, just not without you."

"I'm no good on dates, I wasn't gonna offer up myself to tag along."

Steve is close but seems guarded, standing stick straight with his hands in his pockets when they enter the bedroom. Bucky sets the candle on the nightstand between their beds, sitting on his bed and running a hand through his hair.

"Steve, I meant I'd rather take _you_ on a date."

"Oh," Steve blushes. "I think - Bucky, that can't really happen."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't feel like taking someone else out. Does that not bother you?"

Steve looks down, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. He doesn't meet Bucky's eye when he answers, "I'm not sure."

There's a sinking feeling in his gut, disappointment and embarrassment like when you put yourself out there and end up being rejected - like being in love with your best friend and he doesn't feel the same way.

He had thought they were on the same page. They didn't have a whole serious drawn out talk about it, but he had thought Steve wanted him. Maybe they can go back to just being friends, never talk about what happened and everything can go back to normal. Except he doesn't want that. He forces himself to get out of his own head and actually talk to Steve.

"What aren't you sure about, Steve?" Bucky asks, trying to keep his voice calm, soft.

Steve screws up his face like he does when he's thinking too much. He takes a deep breath and looks at Bucky when he answers, "I don't want you to feel like you're stuck. You don't have to turn down dates or just - you don't gotta be with me because what happened." He sits on the edge of his own bed, opposite Bucky before continuing. "I'm not your girl, you're not my guy. I can handle it if you don't want whatever this is. You just have to tell me and there won't be any hard feelings. I just hope you'll still be want to be my friend." 

When he finishes, Steve doesn't even look hopeful and the dim light from the candle just makes him look miserable. Maybe Steve does feel as down as he looks. Bucky can't handle it. If he's given Steve any doubt about what he wants then he's fucked up and needs to make his feelings clear. 

He stands and takes the few steps to Steve's bedside. "Can I sit?" Steve nods.

Turning his body towards Steve and tries to put his feelings into words. "First, I'm sorry I've made you doubt or misunderstand what I want. I'm not playing a game, Steve. You're my best friend, I wouldn't ruin that just to - I don't know, see what it was like with a guy. And I haven't done this before, I can't treat you the way I would a girl I was in a relationship with. I don't know what I'm supposed to do but I want that with you. If I can't have that openly with you then I can handle it. If I can't show you how I feel out there, I want to show you here."

Bucky stops talking because Steve is breathing deeply and looks like he's shaking. It's too late and it's too damn dark for this conversation but something needs to happen. 

He reaches out to take Steve's have but stops himself, he doesn't know where they stand and he's not sure Steve wants to be touched. 

"Whatever you think or feel, it's ok, I just need to know. What do you want?"

Steve nods, looking more calm when he meets Bucky's eyes. "I want that, Bucky. I want you." 

Bucky lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and leans over to rest his forehead on Steve's shoulder. "Christ, no more talking out of it, ok?"

"I promise." Steve replies as cards his fingers through Bucky's hair. 

He closes his eyes and hums at comfort of Steve's touch. He sits up to kiss Steve's cheek. "I'm exhausted," he lies down and pulls Steve with him. 

They rid themselves of their clothes and Steve puts out the candle flame before cuddling up to Bucky. 

He feels better now that they both know what the other wants. It's like his mind is clearer after Steve said he wants him. He knows they should probably still talk about what this means, being in a relationship that no one else can know about, but he's tired and Steve nuzzling his neck feels too good to ignore.

-

The next day Bucky gets back from the garage to tell Steve that Paul was too busy gushing about the waitress last night to tell Bucky that the double date was set up for Friday night, tonight.

Steve just says he'll help him get ready. 

He takes a quick shower and finds clothes laid out for him. He gets dressed, pulling his button down on as he walks over to the kitchen table where Steve is sitting. 

"What are you working on?" 

Steve finishes the lettering he was writing out before looking up and smiling. "You look good." 

"Thanks, doll," he winks. 

Steve rolls his eyes and stands to button Bucky's shirt for him. He pauses half way, staring at Bucky's chest, "I know we haven't talked about anything but you can kiss your date goodnight. If you -"

"Steve," Bucky tucks his finger under Steve's chin to get him to look up. "I don't have to do that. I don't want to."

"Maybe you should. It wouldn't be good to disappoint her, or make you seem put off. Right? I mean, what if you went on a date from time to time. Keep up appearances. You don't have to kiss your date goodnight unless you want to. It's just, people know you love dancing and dames. Everyone knows you're a gentleman, though I know well enough that you've got a filthy mind," he laughs. 

"You're not so innocent yourself," he smirks. 

Steve blushes. "I'm serious though, I don't want there so be any suspicions about you. We can have what we have as long as it's ours."

Bucky puts his arms around Steve's waist. "So, you want me to go out on a date occasionally to avoid making up reasons why I'm not?" Steve nods. "And you're fine with that?" 

"Perfectly." 

"And we're clear this is your idea, not mine."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Yes."

"Alright. I'll do it, for you," Bucky sighs.

"It'll be such a hardship for you, I know."

Steve puts his hands on either side of Bucky's neck and leans up to kiss him chastely. Bucky's lips follows Steve's as he moves away, feeling Steve smile as Bucky pulls him in closer and press their lips together. They kiss slow and deep for a few minutes before the want for more gets too strong.

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" 

Steve laughs and finishes buttons Bucky's shirt, "Wouldn't be right to not show up. Plus, I have to finish making posters for the hardware store and that'll go faster without you here to pester me."

Bucky narrows his eyes and playfully pinches Steve's side, "I see, just want to be rid of me." Steve shrugs and sits back at the kitchen table so Bucky goes to the bathroom to fix his hair. When he's done he puts his jacket in before walking behind Steve and kissing his temple, letting him know he's going.

-

The sun has been down for a few hours but it's still early by the time Bucky makes it home, hoping for a little time with Steve but no such luck.

The apartment is dark and quiet, when he gets to the door of the bedroom he can see Steve curled up in bed. He gets undressed as quietly as he can, keeping his boxers on, and climbs into the bed behind Steve.

He moves around to get comfortable. Lying close to Steve and adjusting his arm to prop himself up on his elbow, just to look at him. There's enough light from the street that Bucky can see Steve's eyelashes cast long shadows on his cheek. He brushes the hair off Steve's forehead, leaning in to kiss his temple. 

Steve's mouth lightly twitches as he hums, "Buck..."

He winces, not meaning to wake him up. "It's me. It's ok, go back to sleep." He whispers.

"N'uh...hi." Steve turns over and buries his face in Bucky's chest.

Bucky huffs a laugh. "Hi."

Steve turns slightly so he can look at Bucky. "How was it?" He asks as he rubs the back of a hand over his eye.

"Fine. Girls were nice. Paul kept wanting to drag it out. _One more drink. One more dance._ Think they were getting as sick of him as I was. Soon as I said goodnight I came home fast I could without lookin' like a loon."

Steve hums, nodding. 

"I was a proper gentleman. No funny business." He tells Steve as he moves a hand to his face, rubbing his thumb along his cheek.

Steve smiles, turning into the touch. Bucky leans in and kisses him lightly. 

"Sorry I woke you. C'mere." He moves to get and arm under Steve, settles himself down on his back and pulls Steve to his chest. He wonders if Steve will give him shit for moving him around like this, but he has a sleepy smile on his face so maybe he still won't mind come morning. 

Steve nuzzles into the crook of Bucky's neck, an arm across his waist. All Bucky can think is how easy and calming it is to be with Steve. He pulls the thin blanket over them and takes Steve's hand that's at his waist and holds it against his chest, lacing their fingers together.

"It's ok," Steve whispers, barely audible. They hadn't said anything for a few moments so it takes a second for him to realize what Steve was responding to. "S'ok, long as...you're still gonna come back to me?" 

He sounds far away, and it might just be that he's falling back asleep but Bucky feels like there's more, it makes his chest tighten. He swallows hard, moves a hand to card through Steve's hair, _he needs to know I'm here._

"Always." His words catch as he continues, cursing himself, he wants Steve to know he's sure. "I'm always gonna be runnin' after you."

Steve turns to look up at him. Even in the dim light, Bucky can see how sad he looks. His brows are slightly creased together, the corners of this mouth turned down but then he pushes it away and offers a smile. 

He wishes Steve would just say what he's thinking. But it's hard, whatever this is, and he doesn't want to push it so he kisses him instead. The kiss is short and Steve settles back against Bucky's chest.

"Night, Buck." 

"Goodnight, Stevie." He kisses the top of Steve's head before resting his head on his pillow, hoping he can sleep.

-

After a few weeks they come into a small routine. Bucky works at the garage. Steve has finished a few advertising posters. They continue everything as they normally would. Being with Steve doesn't change anything all that much, it's easy. He does go out every other weekend, sometimes he can get Steve to go out with the guys between that.

What's different is how they are when they are alone. They still have the same friendship they always had but it was better. They can sit closer together, cuddle up on the couch if they want. Something he's noticed is that if he is close enough, Steve likes to be touching him. 

It started out when Steve reached out to take Bucky's hand while they were eating breakfast one morning. They didn't say anything about it, Bucky just smiled and Steve squeezed his hand. If they were sitting on the couch Steve liked to hold Bucky's hand or rest a hand on his thigh. One evening when they were both reading Steve had his arm resting on the back of the couch behind Bucky and when he leaned back Steve had brushed Bucky's hair with his hand. Bucky realized he liked Steve touching him, not that he didn't before but he liked leaning into Steve's touch. 

Ha asked Steve to do more things like that. It felt weird to ask, and to want, but Steve's eyes lit up as he smiled. He felt calm and comforted with Steve close to him. He liked to have Steve close before, they couldn't be close like they are now, he liked to have his arms around Steve but it surprised him how much he craved affection. 

For the most part the only time Steve wasn't touching Bucky was when he was sketching and his focus was on the pencil on paper. Bucky would try to occupy himself but he was restless enough for Steve to notice. He had Bucky sit on the floor in between his legs while he sketched, Bucky could rest his head against Steve's inner thigh and every once in awhile Steve would run his hand through Bucky's hair.

They could talk to each other even more now that they didn't have to hide their feelings, but for awhile he felt like Steve wasn't telling him something. When he brought it up, asked Steve if something was wrong, Steve took a few minutes to explain. 

Steve had said he liked being close to each other and really liked that Bucky wanted his attention but asked if Bucky could voice what he liked. He said he wanted to know that Bucky felt good. Steve wanted to know he was wanted. 

Normally he could use pet names and didn't have much of a filter for sweet, or dirty, talking while they were in bed but Steve was asking for something different. What Steve wanted was still easy for Bucky to do. He automatically makes soft pleased sounds if Steve touches his hair, scratches his scalp, or massages his neck. With Steve wanting him to be more vocal he will tell Steve when something he does feels good, that he likes Steve taking the lead, and that Steve made him happy. Hearing what Bucky liked made Steve even more affectionate. 

He knew Steve wanted, needed, more than that. Bucky felt himself needing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic!
> 
> I'm a bit concerned it seems all over the place, I'd love to hear what you think :)
> 
> For more whatever this is follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedxbyxfire.tumblr.com)


End file.
